


Building theory

by Pegship



Series: Castle Episodic [14]
Category: Castle
Genre: Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mystery, Season/Series 07 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 06:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2417711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegship/pseuds/Pegship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's what Castle does best - come up with theories, however unbelievable or undesirable. Here he holds forth on a few ideas as to what happened between seasons 6 and 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Building theory

Neither Castle nor Beckett was exactly chipper over the complete lack of clues as to his abduction and subsequent return. Still, by the end of the week, ensconced in the chair Beckett had defended, he was back to spinning the usual outrageous theories.

"The main question, besides why I was kidnapped - "

"You mean, why anyone would *want* to kidnap you," Esposito interrupted good-naturedly.

"Besides Beckett," said Ryan, side-eyeing his partner.

" - valid points, both - is this: where was I, and - okay, two main questions - how did I get back?"

"That's easy," said Ryan. "In a dinghy. Blue, with a custom fishing rod rack."

"And wearing clothes that are not my own," Castle pointed out. "Except for socks, shoes and, well, underwear."

"TMI, bro."

"Feel free to retire to your own desk," offered Beckett, who had just returned to sit down at her desk. "If the idea of Castle commando bothers you."

She smirked at Castle, who matched her smirk, knowing that the idea didn't bother her at all.

"We're waiting," said Espo, folding his arms and staring at Castle. "Waiting for the ready supply of wild and crazy theory that spills from your lips on these occasions."

"Hmm...well...if it's wild and crazy you want," Castle mused, but only for a moment. "Okay, here you go. I was kidnapped to keep me from bidding on something rare and coveted at some auction some time last summer; the kidnappers got hold of the item, so they set me free. Or...they wanted information about one of our cases, but since I'd lost my memory they couldn't get it out of me and gave up."

"No signs of torture, though," Ryan said. "And you don't look like you were deprived of food or water."

"True. I don't feel like it, either. In fact, apart from the occasional twinge from the bullet graze, I feel fine. So, hmm, I don't have a rare blood type, but maybe there's something in my blood or DNA that's valuable to them. They knew I'd never give them a sample willingly, so they took matters into their own hands."

"Speaking of which..." Ryan began, but then turned bright pink and added hastily, "No, that couldn't be it."

"I know what you're thinking," Beckett said, not looking up from what she was writing. "Sperm donor."

"Also not available willingly," said Castle firmly. "Maybe - wait, that makes me think of - what if it was an alien abduction? That would explain the sunburn. People always come back sunburnt and, well, molested from a close encounter."

"If you believe Hollywood," Beckett murmured.

"Do you feel - molested?" asked Ryan.

"No more so than usual," Castle replied. "To continue. Maybe the FBI or the CIA wanted to interrogate me, to make sure I didn't pick up any classified information during my visits to D.C."

He looked over at Beckett. "Besides what they already know that I know. You know."

"Yes, Castle, I know. What you know wouldn't take two months for anyone to discover, let alone a group of professionals like the Feds."

"What if they weren't planning to let me go? What if I escaped! Maybe that key unlocks their secret lair. All we have to do is figure out where it is - and what awaits us inside."

Castle's eyes were bright; Beckett was highly amused and pleased that he sounded more like his old self.

"Hey, maybe someone implanted a post-hypnotic suggestion in my brain, one that'll be triggered by something in my everyday environment." He scribbled on a piece of paper and shoved it over to Ryan. "Here, say this out loud and watch my reaction."

"What is it?" Espo leaned over to squint at the paper.

"Something about fruity oaty bars?" Ryan scoffed. "I'm not reading this, Castle, it's ridiculous."

"It was a long shot, anyway." Castle sighed.

"That's all you got?" asked Espo. "You're leaving out the most obvious explanation. Mistaken identity."

"Mistaken, for whom?" Beckett had to ask. 

Castle looked like he knew the answer and wasn't going to like it.

"I'm going to get some more coffee," he said and went off to the break room. 

Espo was grinning as Ryan gave him an inquiring look.

"Javi, mistaken for whom?"

His partner raised his voice just enough to be heard in the break room.

"I was thinking, Jason Bateman."

The hiss of steam from the espresso machine conveyed Castle's feelings on the subject.


End file.
